The many faces of John Lennon #3

Some MARIJUANA........If you got some.

#3 John Lennon -- Wizard

Did you hear the story about the father who bought his son an original John Lennon sketch because he was being bullied at school for wearing glasses. The father said, "John Lennon wore glasses and he was one of the coolest people ever, kissy kissy mwah mwah". What the misinformed self-professed Lennon expert failed to mention was that John Lennon didn't wear glasses when he was a kid. He preferred not being able to see to looking like a cunt. And with the 13,000 pounds spent on the sketch, contacts may have been a cheaper option.

And listen to Holiday by Weezer. The shittiest Jack Kerouac reference I've ever heard.

Do you shee the beasht?

It seems I can never remember my dreams unless Jacob van Maanen appears in them. Last night's was no exception. And for those admittedly se beings out there, I'll put your minds to rest. What happened was:

"I was walking to class when I realised I'd left my shoes and blazer behind somewhere. I thought the most likely place would be the art room, as I'd had art earlier today. I walked upstairs on the hand rail. When I arrived a Maori class was in session. There were shoes and blazers lining the goddamn walls. I asked the Maori teacher (a man I have never encountered before, his character may have been based on the singing Maori of soap carving fame) if I could look for my blazer and shoes. He was enraged yelling something about one thing was one thing but this was another. I was enraged and noticed my blazer and shoes neatly folded behind him. I knew they were mine because a toy army tank from my childhood sat atop them. "They're right fucking behind you!" I was yelling. "Look, they're fucking over there! Fucking look behing you!" I picked the bundle up and marched out of the room."

And where does Jacob enter into all of this?

"I walked down a grassy hill with Jacob, singing Beach Boys songs."

And the great thing about dreams is that although you might have some theories and ideas about what they mean you and everybody know that nobody fucking knows!

Is she really going out with him?

I counted ten pictures of Christ Wethey in the school magazine. I mean I like the guy, but what is he supposed to be? The Moses of Middleton Grange? He's their darling because ooh, he's head prefect... but he's got long hair and he's in a Funk-Rock band. It's the new face of Middleton Grange. A hipper, young, alternative guy who takes part in every extra curricular activity he's offered. The magazine is a big piece of propaganda. It doesn't acurately depict what happened at Middleton in 2008. It sells the school. It shows them how they want to be seen. Ooh, look! Look at this non-offensive art and four line poetry about emotions and beach scenes. Ooh, look! It's the Fiji Missions trip and the Year 11 History trip to Ripapa Island. Where is the photo of me and Steven in dresses? And Middleton Grange's real talent in music and film making. I see an article on Ben and Harry's 'Old School Cinema' but a mention of Jehosaphat Defeats Ammon and Moab would be nice. I see an article by Mrs. McMillan on The Producers. "This fantastic rock band," she says, "burst onto the music scene... We loved the green and red shoes... They love their funk and pop aspects." God, in the early sixties and nineties everyone was in a goddamn band and noone gave a shit. But I guess for a family friendly version of the Red Hot Chili Peppers they aren't bad. "Good evening, we're The Producers. Get ready to dance."

Although I must say I enjoyed the photo of Michael Dixon at athletics on page 137. And the one of Peter what's-his-name who does the bus door thing.

Bela Lugosi's Dead

You guys have to listen to Bauhaus, they're fucking brilliant.

Bela Lugosi's dead. Undead undead undead.

Bela Lugosi was an actor who played Dracula. He got buried in his cape.

Bauhaus are the original goths.

The many faces of John Lennon #2

Let's have another just to get you interested.

#2 John Lennon -- Seducer

The many faces of John Lennon #1

I plan for this to be a little weekly section. It shall last as long as I can find interesting pictures of John Lennon. Let's start with the Obvious one.

#1 John Lennon -- Beatle

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday.

Who wants to guess where I get the titles from my posts. One is a direct quote from a film, one is a direct quote taken out of context from a film, one is a pun on a tired hippie anthem, one is a direct quote from a song and this post's is quite too obvious.

Bonnie Goes Shopping

Twelve years ago, Sex With A Cat blew Christchurch away with their aggressive guitars and offensive lyrics. Tireless touring and two albums later the band have broken through the American market with the single 'The Duck', released to coincide with the assassination of President Obama. They are now playing at places like Shea Stadium and Madison Square Garden and their appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show was watched by 45 million people worldwide. The critically acclaimed third album sold nine billion copies and attracted the attention of gospel singer, Marty Bang Boom, who bought the album in a Walmart during a roadtrip across the States. "The cover caught my eye while I was queuing for the john. I bought the bitch and listened to it incessantly during my two-week trip." Marty was arrested in Idaho after shooting actress, Niggerminge Princess Adrian, and twelve others. He claimed "the music made me do it" and was freed. Scholars searched the album and found many subliminal messages along with many non-subliminal ones which are actually worse. Gay rights activist Paulie Buddie Duncan-Malone claims the group to be anti-gay communist nigger music and covinced Walmart to discontinue the sale of the album while he clears his head. Pop art icon, Andy Warhol's estate have sued for the use of Andy's name in the song 'Give Us a Bum, Andy, Your Chest is Fine'. Bob Dylan is now using the song 'Doctor Doctor I Should Have Told You Earlier I Have AIDS and Five Cases of Tummy-Sore' to recruit members of his anti-gay militant church, Niggers and Yids for the Preservation of Pigs, which has sparked much controversy, many claiming Dylan wrote the song and happens to be The Devil Himself. Sex With a Cat PR man, Max Clit the Florist, dismissed all the hoo haa with his statement at a press conference this morning held in his bathroom. "Bullshit," he said. "Bull-fucking shit! Thankyou, Mr Jones." Sex With a Cat guitarist, Nancy, was found dead in his Kentucky home this evening, apparently stabbed by a French Jew by the name of Mad Marcel the Proust (a gay).