Cobain was friends with a homosexual student at his high school, sometimes suffering bullying from homophobic students who concluded that Cobain was gay. In a 1993 interview with The Advocate, Cobain claimed that he was "gay in spirit" and "probably could be bisexual." He also stated that he used to spray paint "God Is Gay" on pickup trucks around Aberdeen. However, Aberdeen police records show that the phrase for which he was arrested was actually "Ain't got no how watchamacallit."

when a lovely flame dies, Smoke gets in your eyes

On the side of the road there was dead duck in the grass. Its head was back and there was a hole in its side and it had shat its guts. Intestines strung out its

I knelt down at its side and tried to give it some kind of rites or ashes to ashes which was a stupid thing to do.

"This is good shit, huh?"

"It's a fucking cigarette." Donnie Darko

this old world keeps spinnin round, its a wonder tall trees ain't layin down

a while ago (Not so long ago) I was going to buy joy division second (and last) record, CLOSER. and it was on trademe and i wanted and wanted it. So when the time came to bid I was in this wee battle of the sexes with some faggy shee and then my Fokking computer smashed on the rocks and the screen went mental everything multiplied for one whole minute til the auction was closed. Then the computer came out of its spasm and the mouse was sitting floating over some ad at the top of the screen saying "Find Someone" it was like a slap to the face

I thought it was funny that a joy division record could make me feel sad without even having listened to it. yeah thats funny because Joy division are notoriously morbid and bleak and depressing. but i went to penny lane and they had the album there. And of course i never should have doubted my old friend penny lane because it was cheaper than the copy on trademe.

Ibought it but i got pissed off again because my favourite song on Closer, Isolation (mother i tried please believe me // im doing the best that i can // im ashamed of things ive been put through // im ashamed of the person i am) had a massive scritch scratch through it and it just jumps the whole fuking song. nahhh we're Cool, Man

I fell in love with an old japanese guitar on trademe

I'm gonna buy it and change the Wooooooooorlds

I'm a singer im a dancer im a poet im a kitten

Connan Mockasin is genius he's my favourite ever i love him forever

1. I Nude You
2. Sneaky sneaky Dogfriend
3. Naughty Holidays (Again)
4. Uuu it's Teasy
5. Hey Chocolate
6. Hello View

If all the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops

that's me on the right, i guess i must have been four years old

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night

I was watching stuff I taped off tv a while ago since it's the holidays.

There was that episode of the Mighty Boosh when they're on that island. The day after I recorded that (I think) was the day Andrew and I got lost out in fucking darfield looking for sam's house. I think that's right because we kept doing lines from it especially "Milky, you son of a bitch!" So that was crazy thinking what shit was going on when I taped it.

Then there was that heavy metal documentary I taped off of C4 like a year and a half ago. I remember because they were all talking bout Satan and shit and my dad got pissed off. And after I watched it for the first time I couldn't get that little devil's interval out of my head from that song black sabbath by black sabbath. And so I thought "I've fucking gotta get that album" so my parents dropped me and my sister off at penny lane and I had $15 in my pocket I went straight to black sabbath and the album was there for $15 so I bought it straight away.

Then We left and we were walking down the road and I saw my parents at the traffic lights, and I didn't want them to know I got an album because then dad would be like fuck off you devil you and burn my record like he did to his. So, I went and hid in this garage which was really surreal and there were these mats lying out covered in perfectly arranged plastic buddhas and they were for sale and there was this old guy who looked like colonel sanders in a hawaiian shirt buying shitloads of them. and my parent drove off.

So my sister and I kept walking and over the bridge while I read all the satanic poetry that is printed inside the gatefold inside a big black inverted cross. God it was all too good. and then I realised that metallica's rob trujillo looks like sharlyn. Hahahahaha!

I got called a motherfucker by a stranger on an internet forum. and I just don't know how to feel, I tried thinking well, what a no life wanker he's probably a dickhead what do I care what he thinks, but I couldn't help feeling really bad. Words = Power. I saw a shite film on rialto channel about ewan macgregor and colin farrell buying a boat and naming it after his lucky dog at the races. But they were supposed to be brothers but he's scottish and he's irish , so ewan macgregor talked and sounded like jason gunn the whole timme and i started thinking that colin farrell looked like bob rasmusen..

Then I saw patti smith : dream of life which is a film about patti smith but NOT in the vein of other films such as 7 ages of ROCK: PUNK who name drop and flish flash. and I liked the way Rimbaud used the word "piss" it was so awesome when she was indicting george bush and she is like my favourite person right now. Patti smith, REM, cat power (I bought her cd You Are Free from galaxy records the other day then I got home and in the post was my rufus wainwright release the starts cd that I bought on ebay and I was like jeeeeesus so I promised myself to listen to cat power's fair share and leave rufus wrapped up till cat was dry. and a week later CAT IS NOT YET DRY! I like the cover it says "You Are Cat Power Free" and each word's in different colours) I also like charles manson's music (Especially "Look at your game girl") he has a pretty voice and was buddies with one of the beach boys (mike love?) Then he became famous for something much more suddenly<><><><><><><><>

What's wrong with pearl jam? I don't know! HAHAHAHA Miiiiiilky ya son of a bitch. Fuck! What ya doin'? you intellectuals, when you go, you really go" "From the moment i saw him i knew he was a killeur" "YOU Garlic Twit!!!" My wife loves him! A little too much if you know what I mean! Milky joe and the CO-CO NUTS"

Cassius by foals // six pack by black flag // the one i love by rem // new rose by the damned // heart of glass by blondie // pink frost by the chills // teenage kicks by the undertones // redondo beach by patti smith // werewolf by cat power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I wrote a poem about gay

"God is holy-I am not
"mmmm mmmm
"he's so hot
"God is great
"I saw him on tv
"mmmm mmmm
"he's so dreamy

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I wrote another poem in the shower a while ago and i finally got it right -- it's about my special place ----


I walk in the field
under the sky
where all the birds go flying by
in flocks of twelve or twenty-five
or thirty

There is a stream that flows, divides
the big side from the little side
you can jump
it's not that wide
just dirty

Beneath the bridge
there is no rain
I'd like to sleep like kurt cobain
and all the other souls in pain
who told dead lies for no one's gain
before me

I'm saint francis of the suburban wasteland
and all the ducks
adore me

****
I was in the car the other night and we drove past this party bus in the other lane and there was this girl amidst all these other people parading about she was just staring out the window with her hands under her chin and she smiled at me as we drove past then there was this guy dressed up like some kind of dirty mexican with a sombrero and a big black fake moustache waving at me*******two step

I'm going to watch bluebirds fly Over my shoulder

Many thanks to bebo, I found out one of my childhood best friends is now a skinhead white supremacist (who is also having girl troubles). I just remembered about him when I used him to write the first chapter of my novel. I initially just wanted to record my memories before I forget them, then it turned into a poem (one of those modern kind of poems "Gasoline rainbows and the...... " you know the ones) but a poem like that can become prose if you just stop starting new lines all the time. And anyway ??? My novel, which is called Teenage Clump, is about a boy.

It's so funny that when I sleep with my blankets arranged orderly, my dreams have such blatant symbolism. It's impossible to ignore. They say so much about my life my love my sexuality my loss of faith that I couldn't put it in words myself I'm learning about myself and how I feel because I don't actually know, my subconcious does. Some dreams are so painful to me when I try dredging them back up in the morning. And some are so lovely I wish I could have them again. Some remind me of people I've forgotten about and sometimes I wish I could make myself dream about someone but then someone else might stay forgotten. I wish I had them all on tape in my wardrobe. I can't wait to see Die!Die!Die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes Coca Cola makes me so happy, so people are so nice. God I loved Andrew in that KFC cap this lunchtime. Sometimes you know like you just wanna be up there -- but for now here's a list -- He War by Cat Power

Snakeface by Throwing Muses

Instant Pleasure by Rufus Wainwright

Interstellar Overdrive by Pink Floyd

Satellite of Love by Lou Reed

Kimberly by Patti Smith

Pretty Girls Make Graves by The Smiths

In the aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel

Fly by Nick Drake

Manon by Serge Gainsbourg

Elephant Gun by Beirut

All the Young Dudes by Mott the Hoople

When Routine Bites Hard..................

I was at that thing the other night and at the end they made us all sing the national anthem but with all the verses. So after four verses I was still singing but my mind was wandering. And when I was meant to sing "Make us faithful unto thee" I sang "Make us faithless unto thee". It's not like I was singing loud or anything, but I got such a fright.

Going to a Town by Rufus Wainwright

Talulah Gosh by Talulah Gosh

Nightswimming by REM

Don't Touch My Bikini by The Halo Benders

To Lose My Life by White Lies

Oh! Sweet Nuthin' by The Velvet Underground

Leader of the Pack by The Shangri-Las

The Viaduct by The Pastels

Machine Gun by Portishead

Jesus of the Moon by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds

Paris is Burning by Ladyhawke

Suki in the Graveyard by Belle and Sebastian

Grass Skirt by All Girl Summer Fun Band

Fluorescent Adolescent by Arctic Monkeys

Last Nite by The Strokes

Shimmer by Throwing Muses

Cool by Gwen Stefani

I Want You Back by The Jackson 5

Bleeding All Over You by Martha Wainwright

From "Giant"

From an Englishman's point of view,its mere size takes your breath away.
Yes, it's big all right.
How large are your ranches?
Most every size. Large and small.
Mr. Benedict's Reata is one of the largest of them all.
Oh, really?
And just how large is that?
lt's one of the biggest.
How big is that?
There are one or two others as big, l suppose, up where we come from...
and some larger oneson the coastal plains.
Can't you be more specific?
What's the size of your place? acres?
Around a half million. acres, to be exact.
l'd call that quite a parcel!
How many acres did you say,Mr. Benedict?
He said acres, Mama.
And you should see the greedy lookon your face.
Witness excused.
Won't you join us at the Hunt Ball?l'm sure you'll enjoy it.
No, thank you, Miss Leslie.
l'm afraid l wouldn't look goodin this outfit.
l like your country.
Why don't you stay a whileand really see something of it?
lt's roundup time in my country.Big spring roundup.
Your country?
Reata.
Your country, my country.You make us sound so far apart.
Maybe you could come out and see it...
if you get a chance.
l'll be off real early in the morning, so...
goodbye.
l'm awfully glad you came.


Sober by Tool
Your English is Good by Tokyo Police Club
Pregnant Again by Knight School
Shaking All Over by The Count Five
Where did Our Love Go by the Supremes
Slushy by The Vaselines
Machine Gun by Portishead
Boys Don't Cry by The Cure
Snowfall by The Halo Benders
Dropout by Times New Viking
Dickshakers Union by Surf City
As Time Goes By by Billie Holiday